my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
