that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
two words...techno handjob
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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