i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
