FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
where are my eyebrows?
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