Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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