is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
