Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
