we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
