Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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