just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
