I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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