Christians are straight up FREAKS
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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