Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
