Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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