god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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