I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
