everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
