do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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