piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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