I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
