he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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