when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize