Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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