So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
