Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
