May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
