I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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