Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
