Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
