Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
