She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize