I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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