Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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