Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
