i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
