return my video game
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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