he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We are two peas in an std pod
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
