And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So vagazzling was a success
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
