I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
