Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
