no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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