i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
