My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Randomize
