I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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