We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
