Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
