Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
