I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
