Dual....:-)
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I can't turn off my feet"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
