I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize