I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
