You work out of a Hotel?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Let's paint friendship bongs
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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