so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
