Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
