Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize