I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
