uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
