i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
