with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
