its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
just found out that she named her cat after me.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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