i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
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