I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
