i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
