she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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