I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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