Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
